UNREQUITED LOVE: Part-3 The Resolution"

A POEM

UNREQUITED LOVE: Part-3

The Resolution

You have been with me till now and I must thank you for your esteemed company!

For now it feels real that sorrow definitely lessens when shared with many!!

The tittle of this final part is sure to get lot of hopes up, but, get a grip!

You might be in for a surprise if you are expecting a fun filled trip!!

We love to love, we long to love, we want to love, but do we know why!

We are ready to put in efforts, time, even money; and to make sure it is our best try!!

In your ‘why’ hides the understanding which can take you closer to your resolution!

It might be your solution or just the first drop of the much needed magical potion!!

To love, you know, is no easy game; it takes a lot, from you!

But, you happily invest all you got, feeling all you feel is true!!

For we ignore that emotional truth is the most subjective of all!

And we feel we are on the right path, irrespective of, whether we rise or fall!!

To let go is no different sport, it takes the same investments, if not more!

You might wish for speedy recovery, but it can take a while for you to be sure!!

It becomes really hard to be able to pull yourself away!

It is not something you want to, but you know you should do!

Every new day seems to bring with it a new level of difficulty your way!!

You do not want to feel regretful, but more you try, harder it pulls you!!

You try to talk to friends, pour your heart out and seek their help to come out of this!

But when by self, your inner voice reminds you that how all you ever wanted was this!!

The emotional conflict seems like a painfully draining yet never ending game of tug of war!

Even though some battles are won, it still seems like a far fetched idea to win the war!!

You feel like you are making tireless and continuous efforts towards a blurred goal!

Then there comes a day where your struggles start to make sense as a whole!!

No one can deny time its rightful place; Try doing that, and you might lose your face.

It has taken time for you to reach and feel a reduced intensity in your emotion!

So please sit back and relax as it will be a while still, for the reverse motion!!

The above understanding needs to be a constant reminder!

If you make it your mantra, it shall be your path finder!!

One needs to put in the right efforts, have the right support and be on the right path!

Such a journey will create a new you from what seemed like the God’s wrath!!

Some questions start to get answers, some disappear!

And you know it is time for the new you to appear!!

What you experienced was special, probably most special for you!

But your life in reality begins with you and ends as well, with you!!

Love is life, for it must end one day, it prepares you well for the dooms day.

Cherishing your lost love can teach you to cherish all that has been lost!

For there is learning in all, to grow is our duty, no matter what’s the cost!!

To not love again as you got hurt could be futile, as life with love makes it worthwhile.

You do not stop eating just because you had food poisoning and experienced stomach ache!

Then why to stop loving just because this journey was tough and you experienced a heart break!!

 It is important to remember that Love is a basic need that we must strive to fulfill!

Who knows, may be the right person is waiting up the hill!!

However, that being said, you can learn to be more cautious and patient!

And remind yourself that life is a journey, where we change both train and station!!

To love someone truly, one must love self! To get support one must assist others and help self!!

Real love stems from real connection, which happens when you are self-aware!

You know it’s not an unfulfilled desire but a genuine feeling of love and care!!

Hence, learning to let go of someone is something you need to learn!

If not, then in time you shall see that once again, it is, your turn!!

So it is ok to take ones time but be open to learn and grow!

Because if your perception differs, you probably wouldn’t enjoy this show!!

If you manage to start your process of healing!

Then for sure, letting go would be a liberating feeling!!

To move on, might not be so bad, it may lead to a NEW YOU!

 But remember just like the part you let go, this too, is only a PART OF YOU!!

A POEM: UNREQUITED LOVE: Part-2 Road2Redemption

A POEM

UNREQUITED LOVE: Part-2

Road2Redemption

Welcome back my partner in crime, let me take you back in time!

This is the continuation of my journey, with an increasing feel of agony!!

Days go by as I wait for the days to end!

And makes me more perplexed about the new behavioral trend!!

I keep telling myself that it is just a matter of time!

But then I only would wonder if ‘letting go’ would be a mistake of mine!!

I was going out of my mind and I felt like I needed a savior!

May be he can tell me what to do, as a one-time favor!!

Why the feeling, why the liking and the affection? I really got no clue about!

If only someone could tell me that I should run away, get close or just shout!!

Jealousy is a new feeling for me and it is a feeling that kills me!

Hence, rather than being around, I try to let myself just be!!

I seek the attention, Oh! It seems I crave for it

& believe you me it makes me feel more like shit!!

I could have never imagined that even I had such a side!

Or maybe all this while, this part of me just managed to hide!!

I used to think that I am in control but now that’s the very thing I do not have!

The more I try to want to control, further I lose it and feel even more naive!!

 

No matter how much it hurts, I know that it is high time for me to take a stand!

But, in reality, all I wish is for her hand to be in my hand!!

Her happiness, her smile is all I seem to care about!

For the same reason, I must now leave her at a roundabout!!

It is becoming clear that my presence will only make it worse for her!

I think that is possibly because ‘not being with her’ makes me suffer!!

Oh how I wish she felt the same for me,

How I wish she would have a special name for me,

How I wish I could tell myself that it is ‘love’ in her eyes that I see!!

Why do I have her 24 hours new channel in my head?

It is there when I am free, when am busy, even when I decide to break bread!!

It is not a crime but it feels like it, I never thought I could, but I am badly hit!!

A part of me always wanted a part of this, now all I wonder is what did I Miss??

I never knew it would be so bad, I never thought I could feel so sad!

Looking at how I have been, it seems as if I have committed a sin!!

I do not think I can take it anymore, may be it is time to seek out for the shore,

Hope the time is right to mention, that I have started on my road to redemption.

UNREQUITED LOVE: Part-I

UNREQUITED LOVE: Part-I

{ A Poem depicting the journey of emotional turmoil in phases }

What is this? I really do not know; what I want, I am not able to show!

Whatever it is, it is taking away my essence and flow!!

So what am I to think of it, is it normal?

Coz all it does is to make me even more formal

Others say you are one of a kind, with a brilliantly perceptive mind!

Now, that part of me, hides somewhere even I cannot find!!

Whom do I talk to, who is that person who will help me connect!

If I had any clue, that would be the one I select!!

Minutes of happiness is followed by sadness and irritation!

How long will it stay, how will I manage; wish someone would mention!

I strongly feel that what can really help me is a therapy session!!

What is the confusion? I seem to know!

The very knowledge makes me realize how it was better to not know!!

NOTICE NOTICE NOTICE! I seem to take note of everything!

It makes me wonder why and wish that there was nothing!!

On a full moon night, I seek the darkness and on a dark night, I look out for the moon!

Reading what I wrote would probably even make you wish that it should end soon!!

If you have been there, you understand my pain!

You are part of my journey now, we boarded the same train!

Comment on the poem as half-way journey isn’t much of a gain!

Part-2 is on its way and trust me, it will drive you insane!!

The Comparison Cancer

The Comparison Cancer

We experience different emotions at the mention of the word Cancer. Some experience pain, some experience fear, some sadness and many more emotions which could easily be put under the ‘not so desired’ category of emotions. Unfortunately, cancer is gaining recognition for all the wrong reasons. It is increasingly becoming widespread and new types of cancers are being introduced every other day. The expansion is to the extent that many of us now have some personal experience attached to the disease. You might have a significant person in your life who is/was suffering from cancer or you might know somebody who is/has been in that situation. Hence, it is highly doubtful that someone has not heard of the illness called cancer.

Not only that, cancer is being considered as one of the deadliest illnesses as well since there is no cure for it. High chances of relapses adds to the fear. Some statistical evidence (http://www.cancer.org/cancer/cancerbasics/lifetime-probability-of-developing-or-dying-from-cancer) in the USA shows that one in every three women will get cancer in her lifetime, as will one out of every two men. And of the women, one out of every five will die from cancer; for the men, one out of every four. Such an indicator of epidemic can keep any one in a constant state of panic, hence making the situation worse.    

This blog has been written to introduce and discuss an understanding which might not only assist in cancer treatment but might actually prevent it. It is now widely understood that cancer happens when the cells in our body turn cancerous or bad. This blog wishes to introduce the concept of our cells turning bad because of bad or negative thinking/feelings, not just because of unhealthy lifestyle or genes. Psychologically speaking, comparison does give rise to most of our emotions but more often than not such a comparison pushes us towards thinking or feeling negative. Emotions like anger, disgust, hate, hurt, guilt etc. can be some examples of such emotions. Hence, comparison can lead to negativity inside the body which can turn the cells bad or cancerous.    

There is a saying in Hindi: ‘insaan kudh ke dukhon se zyada doosron ke sukhon ko dekh ke dukhi hai’. This translates into: ‘Man is more unhappy about others comforts than his own discomforts’. Such is human nature, but the same human has all the potential to adapt, modify, improve and grow. Hence, once we are aware of such a behavior, we can keep a check on ourselves and train ourselves to be more positive and have comparisons only which are inspirations but not which convert into jealousy. So next time you start comparing your friend/sister/brother/mother/father/partner/spouse/kid with anyone else, please be very careful of the emotions you might be making them experience. Remember how you felt when someone compared you. So in order to refrain comparing others in your life, you have to first stop comparing yourself with others. Choose people you can look up to and seek inspiration from.

I believe that each negative thought or feeling affects our cells and such emotions have the power of manifesting themselves physically inside the cells and hence turning them bad. Over a period of time magnitude of these bad cells increase (if not taken care of) and can cause cancer. Also, it is understood that cancer is so difficult to cure and understand as it might be psychosomatic in nature. So, it becomes very important that it is treated emotionally as well which was not the case for the longest time. However, emergence and growth of psycho-oncology does bring in a lot of hope.

In conclusion, it is very important to avoid negativity and comparisons. It will not only bring more happiness and satisfaction in your life but can also protect you against lot of psychosomatic health issues.

 

The 2 SeConD SMilE!

The 2 Second Smile

‘SMILE! It costs nothing’ has been a well known statement since long. However, clearly it does not have the appeal of ‘Smile, you’re on Candid Camera’. One might wonder what ‘Candid Camera’ has that ‘free’ does not; Well, it’s the smile itself. Smile for free sounds like a task whereas smile for camera lets you see smiles, lets people relate to you, reminds you of different memories and hence kind of makes you happy.

Ah well, there is no doubt that Smile is one of the most underrated of our expressions although it is one of the most readily accessible of emotions and with loads of benefits and yes! At no cost. Let us first see the possible benefits of smiling so as to understand why smile at all. For our convenience and emphasis, let us divide the benefits into Internal and External.

Internal Benefits: According to research, it boots our immune system, lowers heart rate, relaxes the body, lifts the mood by releasing happy chemical (serotonin), lowers BP, and also gives a natural high. Hell, one research even says that loving smile can produce same emotional response as 2000 chocolate bars.

External Benefits: It helps people connect with you much better and vice versa, makes you look more attractive and trust worthy, improves perceptions about you, and makes you look younger.

Well these are only few of the more researched and well proven benefits of smiling and we can be rest assured that they are many more.

So the 2 second smile if a life style choice which is not only practical and doable but would ensure that you get much more than the above benefits and that too free of cost. So the next time you see a person, look them in the eye and throw a slow genuine smile (Duchenne) at them for 1-2 seconds. Do it for every person that you say hi to or you are greeting in anyway. Try this for at least a week and experience the wonderful changes within you and around you.

Remember, smiling is one language which is understood similarly universally. Practice smiling on a daily basis with others or by yourself and feel and experience the amazing change within and around you.

Let my soul smile through my heart and my heart smile through my eyes, that I may scatter rich smiles in sad hearts.-Paramahansa Yogananda

BETTER MIND YOUR MIND

Have you ever asked yourself that why am I doing this? Or have you ever wondered that why am I thinking or behaving like this? Well let’s take a step ahead to find the answer to such questions.
Does the mind have a mind of its own? Do we have a mind or the mind has us? Well clearly our mind gives us enough reasons to believe that it’s the boss or at least has its own way of working.
There are so many things that we do that do not seem to be in our control, irrespective of whether it is good for us or not.
Our natural reflexes-like blinking of eye when something approaches the eye- is it really natural or is it the mind protecting the body? Haven’t we learnt that the body cannot be controlled without the mind as the mind is the headquarters of the nervous system and till message is not sent to the nerves bodily movement should not be possible. So, are our natural reflexes really natural or is it our mind telling us that our mind is at a higher level of awareness and is subtly indicating that our mind has us and not the other way around. We can surely play with it a little but not beyond its wishes. Of course we cannot deny the fact that we do influence the mind with our experiences, actions, thoughts and decisions. That is all part of the training that the mind receives over the years and may even mould itself in different ways.
Let us take an example now: When we are in an emotional state or something similarly intense, our mind blocks our ability to look at all or more perspectives and it influences our thought process to think in a particular way. This in turn influences our actions and behaviors. The mind, becoming aware of our point of focus, takes a dip into our pool of thoughts and emotions and decides what approach we would take and hence tries to control our thoughts or emotions.
How can we have unconscious thoughts and feelings if we are always connected to our mind? How is it that we are unaware of what mind is doing and why? This should only be possible if mind is separate from us and is able to disconnect itself.
Well our mind is trained to protect us in any way possible but as we grow our mind tries to grow too. So it feeds on our thoughts, experiences, responses, perceptions etc and starts behaving and thinking accordingly. You might tell yourself you are not thinking a particular way, but if at all you are, your mind will know even if you tell yourself otherwise.
To end on a positive note, although our mind is very powerful we do possess the power to train it in the right way or the way we think is beneficial for us but we need to understand how the mind works before it starts making us work for it.

GENDER BIASED VIRGINITY

Yes! from an Indian perspective, anyone would realize that this time I am venturing into a topic which comes in the category of being a Taboo. However, am sure the title must have brought about some confusion because this is not a usual thought connected with virginity.
So the underlying question here is- Is virginity gender biased?

Have you ever wondered which gender would have a higher number of virgins? No? Let me help you ponder in this unusual line of thought with regard to virginity. So I ask you now- which gender or sex (male or female) do you think has a higher number of virgins? Referring to the Indian context, most of us would immediately answer that more females are virgins. Now let us look at this statement, which seems to be a fact, from a calculative perspective.

Virginity is lost when a male/female has intercourse with his/her counterpart. So, a virgin is a person who has not had sex. Now, when we think about whether a higher number of males are virgins or females, instantly our sharp mind tells us that the answer is obviously females. However, we fail to take into account that when a male loses his virginity he loses it to a female only (not taking homosexuality into account). So, for every non virgin male, there is a non virgin female and vice versa. However, there is an exception when a female has sex with more than one virgin male and also when one male has sex with more than one virgin female.

Since we are discussing this in the Indian context, let us consider the generalizations of this context. In the Indian society, it is thought that males are sexually much more active than females. This comes from the hypocritical aspect of our society in which it is okay for a man to b sexually active but not a woman. Hence, keeping this in mind, it is clear that a man has higher chances of having sexual relationship with more than one woman.

So, analyzing the calculative perspective, we can see that we have more virgins in the male gender, contrary to the popular belief. Also, as per statistics, proportion of males in our population is much higher and thus it further validates that there are more male virgins.